Assignment 9

Katie Anne thinks she is fat, and I reminded her that all girls gain a little weight at the onset of puberty. Then I casually said I was going to start eating healthier and exercising and asked if she wanted to join me. As our text suggests Katie Anne reacts strongly to stressful events and experiences pleasurable situations with intense feelings of elation (Berk, 288). She also has mood swings and shuts herself in her room when she comes home from school in a bad mood (Berk, 289), yet other times she is happy and pleasant. She argues with me over clothes, allowance and curfew, so I renegotiate some of the rules giving her more input like allowing a later bedtime in exchange for more chores. She would rather concentrate on boys and her friends than her schoolwork, a typical sign of puberty according to our text (Berk, 290).

I would say that Katie Anne continues to be resilient. The rules are clear and she follows them. During her pre-school years, Katie Anne was perhaps over-controlled more as I made decisions for her. Now she and I negotiate more. In pre-school Katie Anne was slow to try new things and often was frustrated when she could not perform a task, a sign she might be over-controlled a bit. I feel I have relaxed as she has become more mature and can use reason to understand what I ask of her.

Katie Anne's oral reading, decoding and spelling skills are above grade level, and her reading comprehension is about at grade level. She is a pretty good speller, but isn't much of an inspired writer at this point. Katie Anne can type now, thanks to a 6th grade keyboarding class, I help with writing assignments at home.
Katie Anne is in an advanced math class and does very well in science, but is only an average student in English and social studies. Her word reading, spelling and writing skills are strong.
She got a B in 7th grade English, a C in Social Studies, and a B in Spanish. She got an A in 8th grade math (she had been placed a grade above in math) and an A in 7th grade science. As a result, she will be able to take honors math in 8th grade, which is basically the first year of high school math. Katie Anne was in 7th grade chorus and in the band, and got an A grade and a note of appreciation for her fine efforts from both the chorus teacher and the band director.

She could work on Time Management like completing her assignments on time. To learn time management skills we work together on projects at home and take time to talk about the steps necessary to complete the task. I feel this will help her learn to manage time. At home I am rewarding her with privileges when she completes her homework, however, I refuse to pay her for her grades as some of her friends parents do. Instead, she can do extra chores to earn money.

Assignment 8 - "The Pre-Teen"

Katie Anne struggles with Art, so we are working on projects at home and I let her help make the choices of colors, fabrics, etc. She demonstrates strength in reading, spelling and music. Her love of reading has helped increase her verbal and language skills. She is appropriate for grade level in all other areas of academic skills. So we continue to work on spatial skills when she shows an interest – building projects over the weekends.

My husband and I are back together now - yea! I am traveling more for my job and Katie Anne is having trouble coping with her problems at home when I am gone. She is excited about going to Science camp, though. She still can get nervous and anxious about stressful situations and withdraws, but now she is back to her normal self by the day’s end, instead of struggling through the remainder of her day as in her early childhood years. She is nervous but excited about starting 6th grade. Overall, her attachment issues are still a continuing theme, but we provide lots of encouragement and praise her when she is able to try a new situation. I am thrilled that she is excited about science camp, instead of being so nervous that she would decide not to go. She often stresses over tests and get nervous the night before, but we study together and tell her to do her best. We try to let her know that the only person she needs to please is herself. Perhaps that will help her overcome her deep need to please others.

Yes, our parenting has changed. We have begun the process of letting her make more of her own decisions. In her pre-school years, I could give Katie Anne a choice between two things - both with an outcome I desired. That no longer works, she desires much more of a say in what happens to her. Since we did establish an authoritative style of parenting in her pre-school years, now we often reason with Katie Anne now and engage her in join decision making as suggested in out text (268, Berk). As Katie Anne has gotten older, we let her make more of the moment by moment decisions of her day (268, Berk). She has asked to earn money this summer to buy a bicycle. Sibling rivalry has increased, so my need to intervene has increased. I separate the girls immediately and allow them to play together again only after they have apologized. The addition of a sibling causes me to focus on more than just Katie Anne.

Assignment 7 - Katie Anne at 9

Katie Anne continues to score above average on math concepts, application problems and computation tests. Her verbal skills have improved and she now communicates where she is expected to (as opposed to her below average speaking skills as a pre-schooler). She has taken singing and piano lessons for two years. She is talented and enjoys them very much. Recently, she began playing the flute. Music comes easily to her. She still relishes physical activity and loves her organized soccer team. However, her spatial skills are well below average, possibly consistent with a learning disability. We will continue to monitor that. She still struggles with interpersonal skills. Her strong desire to please others makes her fearful in new situations, where she is still very slow to warm up.

Gender roles are found at school like teasing and chasing between boys and girls. We encourage Katie Anne to model mommy, something she enjoys doing but also want her to be exposed to other roles so daddy often cooks or vacuums. We also encourage Katie Anne’s love of physical activity, such as playing sports like soccer and catch. Dad is her soccer coach and mom plays catch with her. My attitude toward gender roles differs from the statement in our book that says parents have different expectations of boys and girls from birth (212, Berk). I make sure my children see dad cook dinner and mom mow the lawn. That way they begin to understand that no job is solely a woman’s or man’s job, but is instead part of being a family – we help each other and contribute to the good of the family. There are no girl's toys and boy's toys, just toys that interest a child. If my daughter likes legos and video games, she plays them, even though they may be a more traditional "boy" activity. Likewise, my boys play house and make believe that they are cooking and cleaning and doing laundry. What women wouldn't love that in a man?

Had Katie Anne been raised by parents in a lower SES, she may have exhibited more external characteristics such as obedience and neatness as discussed in our book (46, Berk). Instead we encourage her to explore her world through curiosity and self-direction. She may have been disciplined harshly and been commanded to perform tasks (46, Berk) instead of the warmth and verbal praise we offer. Had she have been raised by African American parents, she may not exhibit the attachment issues we’ve dealt with as our book states that those parents have more socially competent children (21, Berk).

Assignment 6

My husband and I separated, so that does not help in Katie Anne’s attachment issues. She still over-reacts to stressful situations and can become anxious, moody or slightly depressed. She is often clingy and apprehensive of new situations. We continue to provide emotional support for Katie Anne until she feels comfortable in new situations. To encourage her independence, recently we tried rewarding her for facing a new situation independently. She has struggled with attachment issues from birth.

Katie Anne requires additional help in the areas of visual arts and spatial understanding, speaking and listening, and understanding content during social studies and science. This surprises me right now, because Katie Anne loves science. I am not sure what to do to parent her differently in this virtual world. I thought that encouraging her love of science through visiting museums would assist her make the connections with language. Next we will try getting more books out of the library on those topics and reading frequently. She has made spme progress with regard to speaking. She can articulate what she wants to say somewhat better - a big change from when she was a pre-schooler and was behind for her age. She still struggles with spatial exercises.

Katie Anne has made great strides with regard to controlling her impulsive or distractible behavior. Earlier as a toddler and pre-schooler, she struggled with this. Novel behavior for her age includes comparing our parenting skills with those of her peers. She demostrates appropriate peer interaction, once she warms up.