I didn’t go to college right after high school due to several issues I had with my parents. They didn’t want me to go away to school thinking I would get involved with people and situations they didn’t approve of and couldn’t control. They exercised a great deal of control of what I did, where I went and how I acted while I was in high school. They didn’t like any of my friends – and I was a GOOD KID. I didn’t do drugs or drink, I hung around with kids whose values and morals were the same as mine and the house I grew up in. So instead of college I followed my parent’s directions to be on staff at the church we attended. While I regret that I didn’t go to college right after high school, I can say today that returning to school in my late 30’s gives me a greater perspective to look at all sides of an issue – things aren’t black and white like they were for me as high school ended – I can objectively look at a situation and see all sides.
I was very shy and slow to warm up (jut like my virtual child) and it wasn’t until my mid-twenties that I was able to over come that. Today I am more confident in my own abilities. However, my interests have stayed the same. I still love working with kids, and I can do so with a greater confidence now. I’ve also mellowed a bit when dealing with changes. When high school ended if a situation did not follow my plan to a T – I was a wreck. Now I can adapt and change with a situation without all the stress and drama.
I am a happier person today than I was when high school ended and part of that is simply because I stopped living to please other people and started living to please myself.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Assignment 12 - Ready for College
In terms of development, I knew that Katie Anne would struggle with temperament – slow to warm up – throughout her teen years, just as she did as a small child. This was part of her nature, not something I could change with selecting the “right” parenting answer for a given situation. However, this does not define her social status. She has a close group of friends she feels comfortable with and continues to hang out with them. Katie Anne strong academic skills allowed her to be accepted to a very good out of state school for college. I knew early on that he math skills would take her far. She is a well rounded young adult and on the right path to have a successful time in college.
Katie Anne seeks out my advice on important issues or questions that are a bit beyond her experience. As our text suggests, her moral understanding is fostered by warm parenting practices, such as listening and posing higher level reasoning (Berk, 322) something I strived for as a parent.
Katie Anne voices her own opinions and is ready to separate from us as she grows. She has achieved identity achievement, in my opinion, and as our text suggests this is due to our parenting practices (Berk, 317).
Katie Anne’s self-esteem is healthy. She is capable of coping with life’s problems. Her success in academics and her musical abilities allow her to experience a high level of self-esteem. Our authoritative parenting aids in this process as suggested in our text (Berk, 315).
In terms of Katie Anne's development that is influenced by factors outside of my control, her temperament is still slow to warm up, something that is part of her nature – and no matter which choices I made to nurture her, she still struggles with this area.
All in all, Katie Anne was a pleasure to raise! At times I could identify her responses and actions to my decisions as those of my own "real" children. Hopefully as my real children grow, my parenting skills will reflect what I've done with Katie Anne.
Katie Anne seeks out my advice on important issues or questions that are a bit beyond her experience. As our text suggests, her moral understanding is fostered by warm parenting practices, such as listening and posing higher level reasoning (Berk, 322) something I strived for as a parent.
Katie Anne voices her own opinions and is ready to separate from us as she grows. She has achieved identity achievement, in my opinion, and as our text suggests this is due to our parenting practices (Berk, 317).
Katie Anne’s self-esteem is healthy. She is capable of coping with life’s problems. Her success in academics and her musical abilities allow her to experience a high level of self-esteem. Our authoritative parenting aids in this process as suggested in our text (Berk, 315).
In terms of Katie Anne's development that is influenced by factors outside of my control, her temperament is still slow to warm up, something that is part of her nature – and no matter which choices I made to nurture her, she still struggles with this area.
All in all, Katie Anne was a pleasure to raise! At times I could identify her responses and actions to my decisions as those of my own "real" children. Hopefully as my real children grow, my parenting skills will reflect what I've done with Katie Anne.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Assignment 11
Katie Anne has done well in all of her math and science classes, and now really finds 11th grade physics to be quite interesting. Katie Anne is going to submit a science project to a county-wide science fair in a couple of months. I took Katie Anne to visit friends who work in math/science-related fields at their place of work in an effort to help her get ideas about possible future professions. She might want to study engineering.
Katie Anne is in Honors English and History and is one of the strongest students. She loves to read. She has written some good pieces for the school literary magazine and is involved in the school newspaper. I enjoy talking about books with her and reading her stories.
She got a C in Spanish II (she switched into Spanish sophomore year), and C's in both English and American History.
She received A's in both Algebra II and Physics. Because of these grades, Katie Anne is eligible for AP Physics and Chemistry in 12th grade.
She received C's in her Fine Arts classes this year and complained that she had "two left thumbs" when it came to drawing or working with her hands. These skills have not been her strength since pre-school!
She received an A in her instrumental music class, and a rating of "pleasure to have in class."
Katie Anne's peer involvement has a positive effect on her social development and her school achievement. She had a break-up with her boyfriend and she has been distraught for the last two weeks. I've spent more time with her than usual, and try to listen well, to encourage her to open up about any feelings that she has. That has brought us closer. She also talks to her girlfriends constantly - that has helped her process! Katie Anne is occasionally moody, more often it seems from something that happened outside the home, rather than anything I did. Whenever this happens I say something sympathetic and remain available for conversation, but give Katie Anne her space.
Katie Anne came home from a party smelling of marijuana. When I asked about it, she looked evasive and stammered, "I - I didn't try it - one of my friends was smoking it outside the party." I told her "I trust you to tell the truth" (hoping this makes her feel really guilty if she actually tried drugs) and we discussed the dangers of drug use with her. Another time Katie Anne went out with some friends to a party on Friday night. Around midnight, she called me to come pick her up. On the way home, I smelled alcohol on Katie Anne's breath. The next day she had a real doozy of a headache. We discussed how alcohol can impair judgment. I was proud of her for calling when she needed help - although she was grounded for drinking. She's underage - there will be plenty of time for experiementing when she is legal. Katie Anne has been dating someone for 2 months now. We are worried because Katie Anne says that she's in love, and we're nervous that Katie Anne may be having sex. So we talk with Katie Anne and try to convince her that she should wait until she is married and more sure of her relationships to engage in sex. However, just in case, I talk to Katie Anne about safe sex, condoms, and birth control stressing that I don't condone them, but want her to be informed and make her own choices. Overall - I think we've done a good job parenting a teen! Her value set seems to correlate with ours.
Katie Anne is in Honors English and History and is one of the strongest students. She loves to read. She has written some good pieces for the school literary magazine and is involved in the school newspaper. I enjoy talking about books with her and reading her stories.
She got a C in Spanish II (she switched into Spanish sophomore year), and C's in both English and American History.
She received A's in both Algebra II and Physics. Because of these grades, Katie Anne is eligible for AP Physics and Chemistry in 12th grade.
She received C's in her Fine Arts classes this year and complained that she had "two left thumbs" when it came to drawing or working with her hands. These skills have not been her strength since pre-school!
She received an A in her instrumental music class, and a rating of "pleasure to have in class."
Katie Anne's peer involvement has a positive effect on her social development and her school achievement. She had a break-up with her boyfriend and she has been distraught for the last two weeks. I've spent more time with her than usual, and try to listen well, to encourage her to open up about any feelings that she has. That has brought us closer. She also talks to her girlfriends constantly - that has helped her process! Katie Anne is occasionally moody, more often it seems from something that happened outside the home, rather than anything I did. Whenever this happens I say something sympathetic and remain available for conversation, but give Katie Anne her space.
Katie Anne came home from a party smelling of marijuana. When I asked about it, she looked evasive and stammered, "I - I didn't try it - one of my friends was smoking it outside the party." I told her "I trust you to tell the truth" (hoping this makes her feel really guilty if she actually tried drugs) and we discussed the dangers of drug use with her. Another time Katie Anne went out with some friends to a party on Friday night. Around midnight, she called me to come pick her up. On the way home, I smelled alcohol on Katie Anne's breath. The next day she had a real doozy of a headache. We discussed how alcohol can impair judgment. I was proud of her for calling when she needed help - although she was grounded for drinking. She's underage - there will be plenty of time for experiementing when she is legal. Katie Anne has been dating someone for 2 months now. We are worried because Katie Anne says that she's in love, and we're nervous that Katie Anne may be having sex. So we talk with Katie Anne and try to convince her that she should wait until she is married and more sure of her relationships to engage in sex. However, just in case, I talk to Katie Anne about safe sex, condoms, and birth control stressing that I don't condone them, but want her to be informed and make her own choices. Overall - I think we've done a good job parenting a teen! Her value set seems to correlate with ours.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Assignment 10 - The Early Teens
Now that Katie Anne has joined the ranks of early adolescence, she continues to play soccer just as she did in middle school. She tried out for the high school soccer team and made it! She seems to be very serious about learning every aspect of the game. I am happy she is having such a good time with the sport and we enjoy going to the games.
Katie Anne and some her friends went camping with a close friend's parents. Katie Anne had a great time, and one of the parents who went on the trip taught her how to use a compass and read a topographical map. On the first day, Katie Anne hiked one of the more difficult trails, and on the second day, she led the group on five mile hike. She always has loved sports.
Katie Anne occasionally gets upset and becomes cranky or gives me the silent treatment when we have discussions about issues such as bedtime, chores, curfew, clothing choices, music choices, etc., but otherwise we get along pretty well. We aren't going to get anywhere by continuing the discussions, so I usually drop it and let her calm down for a while before speaking to her again. Of course, these behaviors occur as a normal part of growth and development. We make sure we communicate often and that Katie Anne knows she can come to us with a problem. So far she hasn't rebelled and shut us out for long periods of time.
Cognitively and physically Katie Anne is changing in early adolescence. She wants to hang out with boys, so we allow her to see them in groups or at his house or our home where there is adult supervision. Katie Anne also worries about her looks more as she needs braces. Our text suggests that she will be self-conscious and concerned about her body image (Berk, 290) and she is. Our text suggests that parent involvement helps ease transition from middle school to high school (Berk, 306). So we are sure that Katie Anne knows we are here to help her manage her time. She has adjusted to the transition of high school fairly well, however, the stress of homework means she must manage her time better. We set aside time each day to do homework and I try to make a point to model good time management. Our text suggests that her peer influences will play an important role at this time in her life and that she will choose friends who share her values (Berk, 307). So we encourage her in those friendships. She has two close friends that share her values (which we are happy to say are the values we find important).
Katie Anne and some her friends went camping with a close friend's parents. Katie Anne had a great time, and one of the parents who went on the trip taught her how to use a compass and read a topographical map. On the first day, Katie Anne hiked one of the more difficult trails, and on the second day, she led the group on five mile hike. She always has loved sports.
Katie Anne occasionally gets upset and becomes cranky or gives me the silent treatment when we have discussions about issues such as bedtime, chores, curfew, clothing choices, music choices, etc., but otherwise we get along pretty well. We aren't going to get anywhere by continuing the discussions, so I usually drop it and let her calm down for a while before speaking to her again. Of course, these behaviors occur as a normal part of growth and development. We make sure we communicate often and that Katie Anne knows she can come to us with a problem. So far she hasn't rebelled and shut us out for long periods of time.
Cognitively and physically Katie Anne is changing in early adolescence. She wants to hang out with boys, so we allow her to see them in groups or at his house or our home where there is adult supervision. Katie Anne also worries about her looks more as she needs braces. Our text suggests that she will be self-conscious and concerned about her body image (Berk, 290) and she is. Our text suggests that parent involvement helps ease transition from middle school to high school (Berk, 306). So we are sure that Katie Anne knows we are here to help her manage her time. She has adjusted to the transition of high school fairly well, however, the stress of homework means she must manage her time better. We set aside time each day to do homework and I try to make a point to model good time management. Our text suggests that her peer influences will play an important role at this time in her life and that she will choose friends who share her values (Berk, 307). So we encourage her in those friendships. She has two close friends that share her values (which we are happy to say are the values we find important).
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